Trust me, I understand. Day-to-day, we can become burdened by 'stuff' and it can all get overbearing. I want you to know its okay to feel and I am sorry for everything you've had to go through.
This post isn't here to inform you of all the mess life can bring. We all have a bit of that. It's here to tell you the good news; perhaps writing can help. Maybe you've tried everything else. You've tried calling up friends, crying into your pillow, taking long walks. I'll admit it with you; I tried it too. Yet, I still found myself unable to resolve the old scars engraved deep in my soul.
I've learnt some lessons along the way. Here are some suggestions when writing to heal.
Take your time.
Pain, suffering, grief and everything alike can often be difficult to unpack. Before anything, promise yourself that you will take your time. We like to be the heroes of our own stories. It's a genuine desire, but give yourself the grace to unpack your emotions, one thought at a time. Try to stay structured when you write and follow a loose narrative style. That way, when you look over your journal you can reflect much easier.
Honesty will take you far.
They say honesty is the best policy and this is also true when writing to heal. Many people are not honest with themselves because they don't truly value their feelings. I am here to let you know, that your emotions are valued. The page wants to hear from you. It desires to hear your voice and heart. So allow that page to bleed with everything you are. From that place of honesty, you can heal.
Ask yourself the hard questions.
Ask yourself how much it hurt. Question your motives. Question theirs. Journey through your emotions. Battle with your how's and your why's. Explore these questions as you journal. Question the things you're afraid of and address them.
Use cause-and-effect words in your writing.
Once you've asked yourself the hard questions, journey through the lessons. One of the most beautiful parts of writing is the ability to capture new perspectives. Using words such as 'in hind-sight' and 'I realise' open the door to have new conversations with you. Write down new lessons, and take time to pause and reflect as you write them down.
Know that the journey is on-going, but consider the ending.
Every journey eventually will come to an end. Some endings, end well. Others are not so fortunate. The good news is, since you're the writer, you can decide on the ending you desire for your story. What do you want? And how do you want this pain to end? What is the best outcome for both your mental health and future? Write this all down.
Remember that the journal is your friend.
If it helps, give your journal a name. Good friends talk every day, they express to one another, but the best of friends are accountable to each other. Beyond most things, your journal is an accountability tool. It is a refuge, but also a place where you make an account of where you are in life. Your journal will show you who you are if you allow it to.
I don't expect anyone to jump at the chance at journalling. However, if you'd like to work on who you are, I'd give it a go. Essentially, journaling allows you to see you. It's not exactly tobogganing down the Himalayas or sailing on the Virgin Islands. Honestly, it's a slow process and a determined way of life. But if you stick at it, it could change you for the better.